“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman”. Anaïs Nin (1903-1977), a French-Cuban author
As someone who works in the male-dominated industry of IT, I have often been asked if I have ever experienced harassment or discrimination on the basis of my gender. My response has always been the same: “I am not sure – does having to deal with the occasional jerk (of either gender) count?” I have always wondered why we still try to put nasty people into little boxes, as if there was some sort of hierarchy of unacceptable behavior, and as a result some victims were entitled to more sympathy than others. So, not only do we have special protected classes of people, but we now have special levels of victimhood. What a bunch of malarkey.
Both of my parents modeled strength, endurance, humility, hard work, and virtue to all of their children. They taught us that we could do anything, no matter our gender, and that we should not use natural human weakness, in either ourselves or in others, as an excuse to ever quit. We were told that we were created to do great things, and that there would always be someone negative out there trying to tell us otherwise. They instilled in us an understanding that occasionally life will be frustrating, that there sometimes will be people that try to impede our progress, and to not let that ever discourage us. Perhaps that is why when obstacles come, I don’t really take the time to figure out if I am a victim or not – I am too busy working on being victorious.
This is probably why I get irritated with those who say that they support women, yet at the same time do things that just reinforce the continued dependency of women. A good example would be Sandra Fluke, a 30 year old student at Georgetown law school, who had the audacity to sit in front of a congressional hearing and demand that someone else pay for her contraception so that she can avoid the consequences of her behavior. Even if doing so would violate that person’s moral conscience. Even if it is already available for free or at low cost elsewhere. And not only that, rather than asking her male partner to step up and bear equal financial responsibility, this woman comes running to government asking it to force the rest of us (women included!) to pay for it instead. Is this gal really the one we want to celebrate as an example of the modern, independent woman? How does someone who both calls for more dependency and the stealing of another’s liberty truly reflect a woman of strength?
I am grateful to the woman’s suffrage movement for the success in winning women’s right to vote. But that is it. I owe nothing to Women’s Lib or the Feminist movement for the success that I have today in the workforce. I credit my God, my parents, my country, my teachers and my own personal desire for excellence for every blessing that I have received. If anything, all that these “pro-women” movements have done is make it harder for me to know whether I am truly appreciated for my intellect or if am just some sort of diversity hire. Call me crazy, but I actually I want companies to hire me because they feel that I am the best candidate, not because they have a need to fulfill some gender equity quota. Affirmative action may have had its place a generation ago, but right now all it does is undermine the hard-work of both genders and force companies to no longer evaluate by skill-set but by biology. How condescending is that?
You cannot achieve equality by holding someone else down in order to lift yourself up. There is no “War on Women”; but apparently we do have “Women at War”, and these gals really don’t like being told that they can’t have their cake and eat too. They say that want independence and choice, but are unwilling to bear the responsibility or cost that come along with them. So, instead of equal treatment, women like Ms. Fluke want special treatment, which is quite insulting to women like me who actually know what self-reliance means. When did the power of “I am Woman, hear me roar” devolve into the pathetic “I am Woman, hear me whine”? How is exchanging one form of dependence (on men) for another (on government) empowering to women? Therefore, on behalf of all women who understand what true strength is, I have just one thing to say to the hypocritical Ms. Fluke:
Suck it up buttercup, and make your sexual choices on your own dang dime.
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t”. Margaret Thatcher (b. 1925), the former Prime Minister of Great Britain, and the only woman to have held this post